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TOEFL Writing:このエッセイ、評価点何点? その1

2021.08.28

新たな試みを始めます!

 

TOEFLのIndependent Writingにおいて、どのようなエッセイがよい評価を得やすいか様々な意見が語られますが、ブログ上にエッセイを表示し、そのエッセイに対して本試験のWriting採点官がどの評価点(5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0)をつけるか、そしてその評価点をつけた理由を伝えます。

 

ただ私としては皆さんの考えを知りたいので、以下のIndependent Writingのエッセイを読んだ後、できれば皆さんの評価をお知らせいただけますでしょうか。
(評価をお知らせいただくのは本試験を受けたことがある、または本試験を受ける予定の方に限らせていただきます)

皆さんの予測や意見を踏まえて、 8/30(月)に「その2」で本試験採点官の評価とその理由について記事を書きます。

 

今回のエッセイは 5、4、3の3つの評価点から選んでいただきます(評価点2、1、0は候補から外します)。

 

皆さんが考える評価点は

 

① Twitterアカウントを持っている人はTwitterの投票(8/29(日)23:59まで)
② このブログ記事のコメント欄
③ メール(info@tofure.comまで)

 

のいずれでお知らせいただけるとありがたいです。

 

コメント欄で回答いただく場合:

A)お名前はイニシャルや下の名前、あだ名などフルネームでないものでお願いします
B)メールアドレスは表示されません。ご自身のメアドを伝えたくない方は info@tofure.com と入力してください
C)webサイトURLの入力を求められたときは適当に何か入力してください(「あ」など)

 

ご自身が予測する評価点(5, 4, 3)だけではなく、評価点判断の根拠をTwitterやコメント欄、メールでお知らせいただいた場合、ブログ記事内でその見方の正しさについてできるだけ書くつもりです。皆さんの考えを是非お知らせください。

 

では、お待たせしました。以下のエッセイを読んで、ご自身の評価点を決めてください。
このエッセイは年末年始にIndependent Writingエッセイの無料添削行ったとき、エッセイをブログ等に掲載する可能性を承諾の上、提出いただいたもの。ですので、こちらは実際にTOEFL受験者の方が書いています。
(私や弊社スタッフが何かの意図を持って書いたものではありません)

 

Independent Writingの評価方法を確認したい方は以下のリンク先の記事、またはRubrics「評価基準」をご確認ください。
ただ、TOEFL本試験を受けたことがある方はご自身の感覚で回答いただいて結構です。

 

» 【再掲】TOEFL Writing:評価基準 5点、4点、3点 の違い を説明します!

» TOEFL Writing Rubrics「評価基準」  

 

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

 

Compared to people who live in large cities, people who live in small towns and rural areas are more satisfied with their lives.

 

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

 

The nature of small town is substantially beautiful, so some people may tend to prefer to live in a small town. However, students should live in a large city because their English grade will be more likely to be enhanced. As a result, these students are more satisfied with their lives rather than those who live in a rural area.

 

First, large city will augment the students’ study time. To enhance English fluency, students must memorize an immense number of vocabularies and grammar rules, so learning English is time consuming. In a rural area, many students will utilize bus, but buses do not run on a frequent interval because of fewer population in a rural area. Consequently, the students will waste myriad of time to go to school or home. On the other hand, in a large city, bus will much more frequently arrive at the station because the number of passengers is significantly larger than that of rural areas. In addition, students can utilize the alternative transportation such as train and taxi if buses are stopped by weather condition. Therefore, large city can curtail the nonproductive time to enhance their English skills. As a result, these students can invest their time to study English, so it is feasible for these students to augment their English skills and the satisfaction about their lives.

 

Second, large city will increase students’ motivation to study. Since almost all students prefer to use their time on leisure, they tend to prioritize playing to studying. Consequently, it is difficult for them to maintain high motivation to study. If these students live in the rural areas, since there are lot of leisure activities such as a field camp or fishing, they cannot concentrate on their studying. On the other hand, there are few leisure activities places in the large city because of high price of real estate, so these students’ motivation to study English will increase. These high motivated students are more likely to study after school. As a result, their English grade and satisfaction about their lives are enhance by living in the large city.

 

Third, large city will reduce the students’ expenditure of studying English. To learn English grammar, students have to take myriad of English classes because English grammar is unfamiliar to them. Consequently, students must have to go to the cram school besides a lot of English class, and it is expensive for these students to enhance their English ability. In this situation, if the students live in the rural area, since there are few studying facilities such as some libraries or bookstores, these students have to commute to some large city to utilize the good studying facilities. On the other hand, there are lot of high end libraries or book stores, so these students are easily to get brand new information without any cost. As a result, since large city enables these students to save their budget, they can spend their money on studying English knowledge. Therefore, it is feasible for these students to augment their English fluency and satisfaction about their lives.

 

Those reasons I mentioned above, I believe that students should live in a large city because their English grade will be more likely to be enhanced, and these students are more satisfied with their lives.

 

547 words

 

 

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